Sometimes there are moments when you face a situation where you don’t believe the outcome will be anything other than one specific thing, and the automatic response tends to be the phrase, “Well, it is what it is.” Usually, these situations are ones that feel a little disappointing or mediocre. For example, you had a wonderful day planned, but the weather turned unexpectedly and forced you to cancel your plans. Or you go out to buy food, only to see the price has gone up—and, of course, you need to pay it anyway. These are just two examples of many that can easily end with the phrase, “It is what it is” — or is it?

Making mistakes is normal and an essential part of how you learn, but there are moments when it feels like getting anything “right” is impossible. Maybe you keep finding yourself in unhealthy relationships or struggle with each new job you try. You may look around and see others thriving, making it work for themselves, and wonder why you aren’t able to make the same good connections. Or perhaps you do know why, but you have no idea how to fix your situation. In these cases, some people start to believe they are broken.

Here’s another truth to consider: No one is ever broken, no matter the circumstance.

For thousands of years, it’s been said that showing your emotions and being soft is weakness. Today, more people are speaking up, saying that it’s okay to be emotional, but too many of us are still in an old place of hiding our emotions. In other words, to look strong and be strong is to be emotionless.

How many times have you experienced a personal loss and, to “be strong” for others, you didn’t show how much you were in pain? Now, I’m going to tell you a hard truth: that is not real strength. That is a deeply embedded, unconscious fear against showing your emotions to avoid judgment. That is called mental control, which is considered a type of strength, so you don’t have to face what you’re really hiding.

The moments when people point fingers, blame you, and criticize you can feel pretty awful. It’s common to then blame those people in return for their mean words and actions, creating a victim cycle of finger-pointing and blame that goes back and forth. The belief is that the other person "made" you feel bad because of what they said or did. If you call them out, their perspective might be that you made them feel bad for your blame in return. Things then escalate, build up, and rarely resolve.

The perspective that another person can “make you feel bad” comes from a limited belief system that’s been passed down through generations and societal norms. The truth is, no one can “make” you feel anything you don’t want to. This includes yourself. Some people internalize their pain in these situations and blame themself. Whether you are blaming the other person, or blaming yourself, there is another way that doesn’t require you to feel “bad”.

You are programmed from birth to know how to be, what to say, and when to say it. As a child, you were a sponge for everything you heard and saw around you. Since you didn’t know anything else, you absorbed everything you witnessed and became a reflection of your adult role models. How you think, feel, and respond completely shapes the type of life you experience on a day-to-day basis.

But what if, by the time you’re an adult, you’re not enjoying your life as much as you’d like to? What if every day feels like a struggle just to get through it? What if you’re so tired of how things always turn out that you’re desperate for any kind of change?

It is said that our thoughts are like an iceberg. Our conscious beliefs represent the part of the iceberg visible above water—about 30%—while the other 70% lies beneath the surface, representing our unconscious beliefs. These belief systems literally create our individual realities and shape how we experience the world. If 70% of those beliefs are unconscious, it’s no wonder the majority of how our lives look and feel is shaped by thoughts and beliefs we don’t even know we have.

So many times, I see people struggling with something, but they don't say anything about it because they don’t believe others will understand. They don’t notice that others might be going through the same thing, so they end up feeling isolated in their challenges.

Self-sabotage is often tricky to recognize. While it’s easy to notice patterns, traits, or behaviors in others, spotting them in yourself can feel as challenging as trying to read a book lying flat on your face.

So, how do you know if self-sabotage is sneaking into your life? Start by looking at how opportunities and daily tasks are turning out for you.

Having others share their opinions about your work, whether at home or in your career, can feel like either constructive criticism or outright judgment. The distinction often lies in how the feedback is delivered.

My life hasn’t always revolved around helping others with mindset and energy healing. In fact, it’s often true that those who dedicate their lives to supporting others have had to navigate their own struggles first. My journey to where I am today has been no exception.

Do you ever feel like life is one endless race? We hurry to get to work, finish tasks, make appointments, and check off every item on our to-do lists—all in the hope of finally having time to do what we love. But here’s the catch: for many of us, that extra time never seems to appear.

Instead, rushing through life often leaves us feeling more stressed, less fulfilled, and still pressed for time. If this sounds familiar, ask yourself: why am I in such a hurry? Is there a way to slow down and gain more from my day without losing productivity?

A small thought of just two words might seem insignificant, but everything you say—even the smallest phrases—creates an effect that reinforces your experiences.

Take the difference between saying, “I can’t” and “I can.” Each builds a foundation of energy that unconsciously spreads into many areas of your life. So, which foundation would you rather build for your experiences?

One of the most common traits we all share is overthinking. Especially when faced with making a solid decision, overthinking can leave us feeling stressed and make every choice seem complicated.